Losing Eternity
by KagamiNee
Summary: Kendra Zeller has never, even once in her life, thought about working as someone else than an Auror. Being suspended for half a year also wasn't something she wanted, but life had other plans for her. When she is forced to become a teacher, she doesn't see any reason to be happy. But maybe helping others, who had to deal with the war, can help her discover her new side?
1. Prologue

Kendra Zeller looked at her friend, baffled by her behavior, while the former Ravenclaw girl didn't even bother to stop singing like a mad woman. Somehow, they ended in some Muggle bar, celebrating Kate's recent break up with her fiancé. It took few glasses of vodka for the woman to stand on the table and show everyone her singing skills, which were… bad to say the least. Still, Kendra just couldn't make her body move to stop the blonde-haired girl. She was her best friend, they worked together in the Aurors' Department and the way she was left by her fiancé… Kendra wished she could just find the guy and rip his head off.

It was few weeks to their wedding, and everything was progressing more than smoothly, when everything fell apart. The brunette was helping Madeline in the restaurant's garden with flowers arrangement, when they saw Nathaniel shoving his tongue in some girl's throat. The anger in Kendra's veins was enough to separate the two of them, while she send few curses towards the man, who who dropped to the ground unconscious, and after that she turned the young girl into a pig.

So yeah, she wasn't really surprised when the notice from the Ministry came, saying she was suspended for six months for attacking a muggleborn and performing magic in a place where she shouldn't. Right now, Kendra was jobless, her own personal life was falling apart and her best friend was trying to seduce some wasted Muggle. Could this evening get any worse?

"Merlin, Katie, leave the boy alone," she said, as the male didn't look like he was even of age. Unfortunately, her friend had other plans and before Kendra stood on shaking legs, feeling the earlier consumed alcohol quite strongly, Kate disappeared, taking the almost unconscious Muggle with her. "For fucks sake, did she just…"

"Yes, she apparated. Quite a handful, this secretary." Deep voice resonated just next to her ear and she jumped surprised, before turning to see the intruder's face.

"Remind me, why are you here, Ethan?" she said, wincing when he asked the bartender for a drink and sat at her table.

"Sit with me and let's talk," he said, taking a sip of beer and Kendra rolled her eyes, but still complied. She took her time looking at him, taking the view in front of her wit unnoticeable pleasure. Auror Ethan Davies was her co-worker until her _accident_ occurred. Well, maybe a little more like her boss, but she felt disgusted just thinking about his promotion, especially since they started working in the department at the same time, and she was definitely better than him. Well, at least in her opinion.

The man had black, too shiny for her taste, messy hair, which contrasted with his pale complexion. Blue eyes made the impression like he could see clearly what was inside her head and sometimes she suspected him of actually checking her mind in some way she couldn't stop. Which was ridiculous, because she knew Occlumency. White shirt, unbuttoned at the top, with a loose tie made her heart ache, at how handsome he looked while being such an awful human being. If she hadn't have a boyfriend until last night, she would have been head over heels for him for years. But she had one. Until he stepped in between Katie and her excuse of a fiancé and tried to convince them that 'it was alright when they're not married yet and are still single and there was nothing wrong with it, as he was doing the same thing'. To his dismay, Kendra had stood right behind him at that time and their relationship ended, before he could even open his mouth to protest.

"So, what do you wanna talk about? Certainly not about my crumbling carrier, I'm out for six months," she said, taking her glass of whisky and hesitating for a second. She had enough of alcohol for today, her body was sending her clear signals of it, but on the other hand… If she was supposed to sit there and listen to him, she would need another glass.

"Actually, as you're now jobless and you're not under our Department supervision, I thought you could help me. You see, aunt McGonnagal is looking for a Defense Against the Dark Art teacher and I thought that you'd be perfect," Davies explained and Kendra put the glass down immediately.

"Me? Teaching some _brats_?" she asked, suspecting that he probably had to hit his head somewhere on the way to this place.

"Come on. You don't really have a choice, you need money to live. Besides, your friend just used magic in the Muggle's presence. If you don't agree, I'll have to chase her and she'll end just like you. I think she already has enough problems, given her situation." Small smirk appeared on his face and Kendra cursed under her breath.

"You blackmailing asshole," she spat, while he chuckled. "Fine. But only for six months!" Of course she didn't have any other choice. No one really wanted to hire an Auror who was kicked out. It just didn't look appropriate in society's eyes.

"You'll start on Monday, it's the start of school year, if you didn't know. And they are not brats, some of them are not much younger than you." The woman laughed, not really believing his words.

"They are seventeen. That's still four years," she said coldly. Just thinking about dealing with teens made her stomach clutch in pain. She hated teens. They were unpredictable, spoiled and didn't know anything about the real world. Besides, if she was correct, the famous girl from the Golden Trio came back to finish her education with other brats who couldn't do it because of the war and they were nineteen. They wouldn't really see her as an authority when she was only two years older. Even now Kendra was sure they would be problematic. War _heroes_ or war _villains_ from her own Snake's House. They probably thought they were invincible, one way or another.

Kendra smiled mockingly. She would show them they still knew nothing. Voldemort was just one bad guy, who would rule the world if it wasn't for Dumbledore. But the world was full of other evil people and these kids had no idea how cruel and disgusting their murders and they could be. Much more than some old prick sending _Avada_ everywhere.

 **AN: Thank you for checking my new story, I hope you liked the introduction ^^**


	2. Chapter 1

She was observing. Even though her eyes were closed, tears still managed to escape and fall to the ground, as she stood, not moving an inch, feeling magic enveloping her. Memories were hurtful, but so sweetly pleasant at the same time. She watched the scene displayed in front of her; figment of her mind, caused by lingering feelings she held towards this one person.

The black-haired wizard touched her cheek, surprising her just after she was born. Kendra watched herself stand up with his help, black fog surrounding the two of them. She remembered the feelings which accompanied her at that moment. Insecurity, but also a deep sorrow. She was once again brought back to life; born from someone's desire to possess a gift of eternity. But who would have ever thought, that eternity came in such form? Surely not the boy who was standing in front of her at that time.

"Who are you?" he asked in a whisper and she smiled weakly, still unsure about her own strength.

"I'm your greatest desire, boy," she answered, closing the short distance between them. As the fog disappeared, she felt the cold air on her naked skin, but the male in front of her didn't seem to notice. He was more focused on her and on the power she had been emitting.

"How?" She leaned on his shoulder, her legs still shaking and to her surprise, he covered her body with a coat.

"Dark magic can wake up creatures you had no idea existed. And powers that are not supposed to live along humans. You, my boy, can either discover the greatness of my existence or just let it go to waste," she answered.

At that time, she was fascinated. There was, after so many years, someone who was able to summon her. He was an amazing wizard, she was able to see his powerful magic as clearly, as she could see her own. The feeling of his closeness made her shiver in anticipation, and when the boy embraced her, careful not to let her fall, she grabbed his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He froze, unable to move even an inch, but she wasn't sure if it was from the shock, or because of the magic she had sucked out of him.

"Kendra." Zeller snapped her eyes open, allowing the memory to disappear, and she looked at Minerva McGonagall, who stood in front of her with a wand in her hand, like she wasn't sure if she could trust Kendra.

"Millie," The former Auror said, smiling lightly and taking a seat in front of the new Hogwarts' Headmaster.

"You haven't changed at all," the Professor said, putting her wand on the desk and taking some documents from the drawer.

"I haven't aged, you mean," Kendra said, finding the whole situation utterly ridiculous. "You're late. I had to wait," she added, but McGonagall only smiled.

"Few minutes are not a problem in your case," the old witch commented, making her huff.

"Very funny, Millie." Zeller sighed and rested her chin on the hand, taking the documents from the Professor and looking at them carefully. "Is this my contract? Come on, you know I wouldn't teach them anything inappropriate," she laughed, but definitely didn't convince the Profesor.

"I mean it, Kendra. This is school. Relationships between students and teachers are prohibited. Just as using their magic," Minerva said sternly and the brunette couldn't help but groan.

"You know I _need_ to feed," she snapped, feeling anger rising inside her. She wasn't a parasite, but if she didn't have any access to someone's magic, she would start to fade away, and right now it was something she wanted to avoid at all costs.

"You can use some other methods and leave the school grounds for that purpose. You must stay away from kids when you 'feed', as you decided to call it. Besides, I know that years ago you had plenty of magic to suck out of _him_. I'm sure there is still some left." Minerva smiled, and there was no better word to describe Kendra than _pissed off_.

"That's not fair," she murmured, trying to gain control of her own feelings and not let the magic take over.

"Not _fair_ is cursing the Muggle into pig, because some lowly man cheated with her on his wife-to-be. You messed up and you need to act properly now. You have your bedroom in the dungeons, I thought you missed them and would prefer to stay there," said McGonagall, grabbing her wand and opening the door of her chamber, giving Kendra an obvious sign to leave.

"Don't turn me into some rat, Millie." For the first time there was a dangerous note in Zeller's voice, but the Professor decided to ignore it, though her fingers clutched the wand slightly harder. "Fine. I'll do what I have to, but only because I'm a nice person." Kendra gave up, turning her back towards Minerva and left the office with a scowl.

Of course McGonagall was right and she still had some powerful magic left in her, but she had to be careful not to use it carelessly. When he died, she had found herself in the most problematic situation she could have ever imagined. Because he stopped giving her his magic before their pact was fulfilled, she didn't gain the necessary amount of magic. That's why she still had to take magic from others if she didn't want to turn into a ghost. A freaking ghost. Kendra still couldn't believe how she ended in such state. Decades, _centuries_ of being one of the most powerful existences and suddenly she was degraded to almost-parasite, because of some stupid _brat_. The feelings she had once held towards him came back to her sometimes, but along with them she also felt anger and resentment. Good thing he turned into ashes already.

'Suits you right for making me unable to disappear,' she thought bitterly. When she finally arrived at her new chambers, she sighed, taking the sight in front of her with sadness.

"Holy fuck, nothing's changed. Screw you, Millie, for being such a hag…" she whispered, recognizing the old furniture, the same she was once occupying with _him_.

~~~

Kendra watched the students walking into her new classroom carefully. They were from the seventh year and she easily spotted the ones who were older and supposedly could be called war heroes and villains. She saw Hermione Granger, the Brightest Witch of Her Age, sit at the desk right in front of her with some red-haired girl. She noticed Draco Malfoy, Lucius' son, take a place in the corner of the classroom, as if it could make him invisible. With a smirk she noticed the looks that other students gave him and she was once again convinced that mortals really didn't learn from their own mistakes. The animosity that they were able to hold towards each other reached the deepest parts of their hearts and right now, the ones who were supposed to be the good ones, were the ones who started to act as cruel as Death Eaters' children.

"Good morning, students. My name is Kendra Zeller and I work as an Auror at the Ministry. For some time this year, I will be here as your teacher. I will take care of the practical part of this subject, and as your homework you will always write a theoretical essay of the spell we are currently learning. I assume that some of you know more than others, but I don't have time to take it into consideration; you don't have an eternity after all. You are to address me as Professor Zeller, no exceptions. No pointless talking, no laughing and even no breathing if it could disturb my lesson. I need your full focus and if someone has a problem with it - they can leave the classroom," she said coldly and firmly, hoping to sound at least a little as seriously as McGonagall could.

"Another Snape, great." She heard from some redhead boy, strangely similar to the girl who was sitting with Granger.

"You name," Kendra ordered, standing in front of the boy's desk.

"Ronald Weasley, sir… I mean madame… Professor," he managed to utter. Suddenly his bravery disappeared, leaving absolutely no trace of its presence.

"Mister Weasley, I assume that you're already a real genius when it comes to Defense Against the Dark Arts if you are letting yourself spout such comments. I don't see any reason for you to stay if the only thing you can do is to disturb the lesson's flow," she said, getting more and more annoyed with the boy's dumb expression. He shook his head energetically, swallowing loudly.

"I'm sorry, Professor Zeller," he muttered and Kendra decided it was time to end her little show and leave the terrified boy, when the door opened with a crack, and she saw the last person she expected, entering the classroom.

"I'm sorry for being late, Professor," the boy immediately said, taking seat next to the Weasley.

"Potter. Being the so-called war hero doesn't make you allowed to be late. Be on time next time or you will find yourself in Filch's office," Kendra spat, now fully understanding, why Severus hated kids so much.

"Yes, I understand."

Zeller turned towards the blackboard and took the chalk.

"Legillimency and Occlumency. The basics of the wizards' defenses. If anyone thinks that without Occlumency it is possible to have a full protection then… he's a moron," she started and in the corner of the eye she saw the Golden Boy flinch. "The Dark Lord used people's weakness. A good murderer can find out your deepest fears and use them against you just as easily." Kendra sat behind the desk and looked at her students who were now listening to her, focused on every word that left her mouth. "The world isn't divided into good guys and Death Eathers. If you ever thought so, I pity you and your lack of knowledge about the real life. But when you finish the school and face the reality, or even better - if some of you decide to work as Aurors, you will see much worse things than the ones you have seen during this excuse of a war. There are situations, which make the Dark Lord seem harmless. His hide-and-seek on Hogwarts grounds is nothing compared to the people hiding in shabby alleys, just waiting to slit you throats and make your insides see the daylight." The horrified expressions on the students faces brought her satisfaction and Zeller was now sure that they weren't as mindless as she thought.

"Why are you addressing him this way? The Dark Lord. Aren't you an Auror, Professor Zeller?" The question came from Potter and Kendra raised her eyebrows.

"Do you think you could achieve the same amount of knowledge that Voldemort had at your age, Potter? Do you think that just because what he had done was identified as evil and bad, it makes him less of a wizard? No matter what you guys think, he was powerful and intelligent. Seeing how you perceive him makes me wonder if you really killed him, or if it was simply out of pure luck," she explained, unable to hold off a note of mockery in her voice, that made the students look at her weirdly.

"But he was pure evil," Harry complained and the brunette fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Does it make him any less brilliant, Potter?" she asked with annoyance. "Nobody, who is in this classroom right now, is anywhere near his level of knowledge and power. It's a pity. I'd love to see another star rising during my stay here, but well…" she finished, shrugging and observed as Hermione Granger suddenly straightened in her seat. Yes, the brightest one could definitely feel offended by her words, but they were merely a statement of truth, whether these kids liked it or not.

"He murdered people!"

"Your sweet Dumbledore murdered them too. The Aurors murder them on daily basis. Get the fuck out of that pink bubble you're stuck in right now, and face the reality, Potter. The world was, is and will be cruel," she snapped and fell silent immediately after that, cursing her own idiocy. "This is not a place to discuss the past. You should finally see the bigger picture and move on, or you pettiness will make you all suffer," she added in a slightly softer tone and the atmosphere in the classroom also changed into a more relaxed one.

"Is that how you make yourself able to say such things, Professor Zeller? Is leaving the past behind you such an easy thing for you?" This time the Granger girl asked her, but the question wasn't meant to be offensive. Kendra noticed how the girl's gaze turned towards the corner of the classroom and a pure curiosity in her voice made the witch answer with a small smile.

"Miss Granger, the past is nothing more than a past. You should remember it but never dwell on it. Besides, time flies faster than you can imagine, I assure you." Her answer seemed to satisfy Hermione, because she nodded slowly, before smiling back at her.

"Thank you, Professor Zeller."

"Okay, back to the lesson. You will work in pairs, it will be more efficient this way. I've already checked out who is the person towards whom you feel resentment, anger and disgust. This is the list. If the people from the pair hate each other, they will try harder to block their minds. One person starts with Legillimency; you will have to break into the other one's mind. The other one starts with Occlumency, so with shielding their mind. Today you will only see who your pair is and write an essay on your theoretical part. After some practice, there will be a change." Kendra explained, putting the big list on the wall and allowing the students to come closer and see their partner's name.

"I'm not working with Malfoy!" Ronald Weasley shouted, gaining everyone's attention and the urge to snap his neck rose inside Zeller.

"Yes, you are, Weasley. Sit down and stop whining like a girl," she hissed and the boy looked at her with fear. "Sit with your partner and at least try to have a decent conversation today. You can't act like strangers when we start, after all, your secrets will be exposed… Granger? What's wrong?" Kendra asked when everyone beside the girl moved to change their seats. She looked at the parchment with the names and saw the slight blush on the girls cheeks. "What are you waiting for? Sit with miss Brown, so you can start."

Really, what was her problem? Kendra found herself getting seriously interested as she watched the two girls from the same House awkwardly occupying the same desk and avoiding each other gazes at all cost.

"Seriously, Mione? What do you have against Lavender?" Weasley boy asked in a hushed tone, and this time Kendra waited for the girl's answer but it never came. She only shrugged, while the other girl snorted.

"Shut up, Weasley, they are not your problem," Malfoy commented and Zeller raised her eyebrows. This feeling…

"She's my girlfriend, of course it's my problem, asshole!"

"And that brainless chick is your ex one. Now be quiet, Weasel." Oh, now Kendra understood everything. Everything besides Draco's weird behavior, but she was sure it was only a matter of time before she would get to know everything about these kids.

After all, she prepared a surprise for them.

"I don't think you should be arguing right now. Listen, everyone! After your practice with your partner, I will be the one to break into your minds," she suddenly said and everyone immediately fell silent, once again observing her clearly mortified. "I will reach the most humiliating event of your life and if you are unable to stop me to at least a certain degree, I will show this memory to everyone in this classroom." Loud whispers erupted in the classroom, and she was sure they decided to hate her. But it was fine, she was here to teach and she was going to do that. She was going to teach them, how unfair and merciless, could the real world be sometimes.

 **AN: With this we finished the first chapter I hope you liked it, I'm having so much fun writing it**


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